Kallioon puuhataan uutta Israelia.

HS tiedottaa, että Kallioon, Helsinkiin, on avattu naisille ja sukupuolivähemmistöille suunnattu baari. Ravintelin ajatus on taata turvallinen tila yhdessä olemiseen sitoutumalla yhteisiin normeihin ja kunnioittamalla toisen koskemattomuutta „fyysistä tilaa antamalla“. Kohderyhmän valinta lienee itsessään hiukan ironinen, kun kiska samaan aikaan peräänkuuluttaa asiakkailtaan „suvaitsevuutta, avointa mieltä” ja välttämään oletuksia esim. sukupuolesta. 

 

Kalliossa istutaan siis yhdessä erikseen. Ravintola kehuukin wifi-yhteyttään kaupungin nopeimmaksi, mikä on houkutellut monet etätyöläiset latte-kupin äärelle. Lienee jonkinlainen suomalainen utopia viettää lauma-aikaa julkisessa tilassa ilman riskiä, että kukaan lähestyisi juttuaikeissa. 

 

Vastuun ottaminen normien kunnioittamisesta kannattanee ottaa toisaalta vakavasti. Jutun kuvituksen perusteella raflassa järjestetään sunnuntaisin kontaktilajikursseja. Käytännön itsepuolustustyöpajoja on tietysti perinteisesti Kallion pubeissa pubeissa järjestetty jo pitkän aikaa. Höyryjä on voinut päästellä oluen kylkiäisinä ilman ekstra fyrkkaa. 

 

Kuva: HS/ Sami Kero

Noh, sarkasmi sikseen. Ehkä alueen levottomuus on syy siihen, miksi tällaiselle turvalliselle tilalle on kysyntää. 

 

Historiallisesti on hyvä muistaa, että Kallio on noussut maineeseensa työläisten kotona joskus 1960-luvulla. Tuolloin alueella asui lapsiperheitä ja nuoria aikuisia, joita houkuttivat alueen palvelut ja hintataso. Sittemmin keskiluokan hyökkäyksen kohteeksi joutunut Kallio sai välillä melko kyseenalaisen maineen „puukkobulevardina“ ja edellä mainittujen ilmaisten tappelukerhojen järjestäjänä.

 

Sittemmin uusi keskiluokka on suhteellisen hyvin onnistunut invaasiollaan nostamaan hintoja ja karkoittamaan alkuperäisväestön. Työläisten keskikaljapubit ovat muuttuneet latte-kahviloiksi ja vegaaniravintoloiksi. Harvoin enää kuulee Kolmos linjalla pamlattavan gamlaa stadii.

 

Keskiluokkaistuminen ei tietenkään ole Helsingissä mikään uniikki ilmiö. Samaa miehityspolitiikkaa voi seurata esimerkiksi Berliinin Kreuzbergissä, Tallinnnan Kalamajassa tai Tarton Karlovassa. Jälkimmäisessä Karlova cafe -kahvilan seinään on maalattu amerikkalaisen merijalkaväen muistoa kunnioittaen Iwo Jiman valtauksen yhteydessä lavastettu lipun nosto Suribachi-kukkulalle. Teoksen saateteksti tiedottaa lukijaa: „Karlova tõuseb“ – Karlova nousee. En osaa tarkaalleen sanoa, mikä taiteilijan motivaatio oli teosta työstäessä, mutta mieleen nousee väkisinkin ajatus onnistuneesta operaatiosta, missä keskiluokka on menestyksekkäänsti häätänyt alkuperäisväestön alueelta ja saanut istutettua oman arvomaailmansa valtaamaansa naapurustoon. 

 

Karlovan uutta identiteettiä pönkittämään on jopa suunniteltu kaupunginosalle oma lippu, minkä voi nähdä liehuvan kahvilan ulkopuolella, sekä muutaman sata metriä keskutaa kohden ravintola Barlovan ulkopuolella. Molemmat tienristeykset näyttäytyvät tietynlaisina enklaaveina trendikahviloineen ja lippuineen muutoin rosoisella alueella. 

Kotona Kalliossa vastaavien enklaavien perustaminen muistuttaa Israelin rakentamista. Vähemmistöt pyrkivät luomaan itselleen rahalla jalansijaa vihamielisellä alueella perustamalla identiteettiään pönkittäviä palveluita ja „siivoamaan“ naapurustoa. Tällaisen ideologian valossa on jopa tappelukerhojen järjestäminen ravintolan tiloissa sallittua. Kuinkahan samanlaista toimintaa katsottaisiin keskikaljapubin sunnuntaimenussa? 

 

Tällaisesta suvaitsevasta hegemoniasta nauttiessa on tietysti hyvä muistaa, että keskiluokka nähdään alueella alkuperäisväestön näkökulmasta valloittajana. Hesarin jutun kirjoittaja, milleniaali, fiilistelee tästä suvaitsevaisuusliikkeestä jonkinlaisena 60-luvn hippiliikkeen toisintona. Omat muistikuvani 60-luvusta ja hipeistä ovat hatarat, mutta käsittääkseni hipit eivät olleet kovin paljon toisten maiden perään ja perustivat kommunejaan asutuskeskuksien ulkopuolelle. 

 

Tämän päivän hegemonian ja suvaitsevaisuuden liikkeen kohderyhmä on urbaanimpi, eikä siten voi välttää konflikteja alkuperäisväestön kanssa perustaessaan omien arvojensa mukaisia enklaaveja. Tappelukerhoja tarvitaan ei ainoastaan alkuperäisväestön selviytymistaistelussa, mutta myös valtaajan turvallisuuden takaamiseksi. 

 

Hiukan huvittavaa on tietysti ajankohta tälle kaikelle. Turvasatamille olisi kenties ollut enemmän käyttöä joskus 90-luvulla ja 2000-luvun alussa. Toisaalta, Palestiinan mallia seuratessa on ymmärrettävää, että miehittäjä kaipaa turvallisuutta laajentuessaan enklaaviensa ulkopuolelle. Tällainen operaatio on mahdollista vasta sitten kun yhteiskunnan sympatiat ovat miehittäjän puolella. Minun sympatiaani se ei ole vielä voittanut. Olen kai enemmän live and let live -politiikan tukija.

 

Right for right interpretation: try to pick my brain!

What to think about a right to be understood correctly? Employees (HS 15.08.) are worried about their bosses spotting their activities at home through social media.

 

A weekend of party pics should not provoke discussion on Monday at coffee table, if the employee was party-harding. It is offensive to think that. 

 

Similarly, an employee who reported sick and later found via IG-posts to be gardening at home shouldn't raise a question, whether the employee is in fact sick or not. It is offensive to question one's word despite the material evidence suggesting something else.. 

 

Makes me think of two things. 

 

Either, we assume that there are two separates levels of existence. One in digital, and one in the traditional physical world. Discussions shouldn't pass between the two. So, if I tell you face-to-face that I feel sick and I'm going home, whatever I post in the digital world doesn't count - and vice versa. 

 

Or there is some kind of a right for right interpretation. Whatever I say, or do, you have the responsibility to interpret the way I meant it to sound like. So, a party picture with people dancing on tables MUST be interpreted as a way of taking care of my social relationships, while keeping the drinking and resting between the navigational beacons. 

 

The latter option is especially interesting considering how poorly people express themselves in social media. I don't mean to be a grammar police, but when a sentence is dictated in a manner turning the literate interpretation completely upside-down, from the perhaps intended meaning, it feels quite a lot of responsibility is assumed for the reader.

 

Imagine a working environment, where you, as a manager, are completely reliant on your employees favorable interpretation of the content you produce. As long as you are in favor, a slap on the back is a sign of appreciation. But once you lose it, that slap becomes a spank.

 

But not to worry. This new resposnibility to interpret (R2I?) is a culmination point in individualism: I can say whatever I want, wherever I want and to whoever I want. It is their responsibility to understand what I really meant. That's why I can ask you not to comment this post in a negative way, because if you do, you clearly misunderstood my point. You'd only make a fool of yourself showing others how ignorant you are. 

 

It's a culmination point of individualism: I can say whatever I want, wherever I want and to whoever I want. It is their responsibility to understand what I really meant. That's why I can ask you not to comment this post in a negative way, because if you do, you clearly misunderstood my point. You'd only make a fool of yourself showing others how ignorant you are. 

 

Of course, as HS story elaborates, this R2I does not extend to managers. Their task is to favorably interpret the employees output without seeing them physically and without any interference with their private lives. Asking about private life in a job interview should be equally avoided.

 

Then again, if the first assumption is closer to truth, I definitely need to rewire some settings in my half-assed head to a more schizophrenic frequency. For me, a public post in social media pretty much has meant the say as if you were saying it to my face. It would be odd if a person told about a weekend of heavy drinking at the office's coffee table and the listeners didn't have a right to assume that he was out. 

 

In either case, it seems to me that meanings have become fluid in the sense that the spatter of words needs to form in to a ideal interpretation of one's situation, while traveling from mouth to ear. However, the responsibility lays with the listener. Naturally, there might be a shortage on background information how to interpret the received information, which might lead to an unintentional non-optimal interpretation. This can be avoided, though, by simply answering in a Californian style: "That's amazing, bro!" Because that's what I meant anyway. I know, we're all amazing.

So, try to guess what I meant with the below picture and leave an FB comment. And, please, be mindful. The last thing I need on a Monday morning is a wrong interpretation.

Thank you, excuse me and good-bye.

- Half-assed chef 

Today, I choose me: how I stopped worrying and started getting the smiles.

It’s seven o'clock Bishkek time and I am thinking about depression. I live in a country, where I struggle with the language every day, I need to sleep practically outside, drinking water makes my belly and now that the heat is gone, the flies are back. But this doesn’t seem to bother my mood.

 

In fact I have been reasonably happy the past weeks. 

 

Recently, I have exceeded all my own goals. Some of those were rather intimidating, even scary, some the result of long arduous work, but most very simple things for man kind, yet meaningful for me. After a month of trying, I found the perfect amount of coffee crumbs to be added in my Turkish pot to produce just the kind of coffee I like with a frothy créma on top; I shopped at the bazar using only Russian language; and I finally got over a mental threshold and shoulder-pressed with more than 50kg. The small successes, I think, paved the road and mind for taking on the more intimidating goals.

 

I was told Abu Dhabi is a very safe place to live. In fact so safe, that there is a guard standing on the beach after sunset to see that nobody swims. This is unfortunate, of course, as night time is the only time when one can enter the water bare-footed without burning the feet to a crisp on the hot sand. Most of the year it is too warm to go outside the air-conditioned city. So, the city has built department stores, museums, cinemas and brags with a variety of different restaurant, where people can kill time. All the activities are enjoyed under the surveillance of the state. Access to media is naturally limited not to get carried away with thoughts of missing something.The people working in the ant hive make a lot of money, which attracts them to stay. The funny thing about it is, that even when one ticked all the activity boxes available, it feels something is missing. Anxiousness sets in. Prozac is administered to keep the smiles people’s face.

 

 The city fathers have read their Orwell. To control: limit information and administer a drug to vent it out.

 

In Europe it is not very safe. If I leave my bike unlocked against a lamp post in Helsinki it is likely that it will not be there 10 minutes later. My insurance company warned me that my travel insurance would not cover if I left the tarmac and ventured into woods without a professional guide. Even with the guide I shouldn’t stay longer than 2 days. They couldn’t tell me when exactly I am in the woods. Case by case consideration is applied. The bottom-line is that I am not to be trusted to take care of my safety outside the surveillance. Cooking is best to be left for professionals. Experts are interviewed in newspapers on how much water consumption an individual needs. Soon we don’t have gas to warm up our houses. Alcohol needs to be equipped with safety boxes to fend-off shop-lifters.

 

It kind of sucks, but as long as we have electricity to charge our phones and keep us in the loop how much worse it is elsewhere, it’s kind of alright. 

 

At the end of the day, I managed to tick all the activity boxes and have a silent moment for all those who suffer more, but something feels is missing. Anxiousness about the knowledge of this settles in. 

 

But luckily, as prof. Isometsä from the University of Helsinki told, “our culture is changing and the threshold for seeking help for mental problems has become lower”. There is some irony hidden in that cultural change. To pass the responsibility to the individual, he tells people to seek help before it gets severe. Only you can’t get that help when you wanna scream! Prozac and “So-Me” are administered to vent it out.

 

The city fathers have read their Huxley. To control: information overload keeps the individual busy and reminds him on shaming himself for others suffer even more.

 

In either place, it is difficult to set personalized goals, not to speak of exceeding them.

 

I wonder if there is a difference with meeting your set expectations in every-day life and exceeding your own? Back home, somebody else usually sets the expectations for me. Bills need to be paid, social media updated, boss satisfied, girlfriends, boyfriends, children and the rest.

 

At the end of the day, if I am a good boy, I managed to give something for everyone. 

 

The fridge at my hostel has a magnet that says "today I am going to satisfy just one person. I choose me".

 

I think today I am going to choose myself again. I’ve set my targets. I won’t even say what they are, since they have no social media value. That’s also why I won’t undermine them by posting a picture of a perfect café créma. Doing that would set a new target for it: receive likes. But I don’t know how many is enough for such a feat, so I probably wouldn’t be satisfied with the result. That undermines the whole accomplishment. So, I’ll keep it to myself. 

 

The recognition I can expect to receive from my society apparently happens as a collateral. The people around me say “that guy’s all smiles”, “he walks like a boss”. The boys at the gym come to shake my hand and we all place our palms on our chests upon greeting to show respect for the other. 

 

This is when I know I’ve accidentally exceeded even the society-set expectations, while simply chasing my own petty targets. 

 

With all this I feel I’ve become more liberated from the need to be pampered by others or by the society. I consider that I have vacated that time now for my close-ones to dedicate it how they see fit. So, whatcha gonna do about it?

Thank you, excuse me and good-bye!

- Half-assed chef